 |
|
|
 |
|
No, not me, but some seniors say they feel outdated in so many ways. The feel that they are
a roadmap in a GPS world
a coal-fired plant in a solar-powered world
a Hummer in a Prius world
an incandescent bulb in a halogen world
a catch-all trash bin in a recycling bin world
dial-up service in a WiFi world
imported produce in a locavore world
a network newscast in a cablenews world
ice cream in a fat-free frozen yogurt world
a Post-It note in a text-messaging world
a weaponless traveler in a pistol-packin' world
a video store in a Netflix world
an 8-track player in an iPod world
a record and CD store in an iTunes world
a journal writer in a blogger's world
a woodburning stove in an artificial fireplace world
focussed on one thing in a multi-tasker's world
a government agency in a tea-partyer's world
an unenriched uranium cache in a nuclear-armed world
a Toyota company in a gotcha world
a hunch-playing baseball manager in a sabremetrician's world
a financial regulator in a bailout world
a can of Folgers in a boutique-roasted coffee bean world
a serve-and-volley game in a slug-from-the-baseline world
a play called from the bench in a no-huddle world
a foot patrolman in a security camera world
a slide rule in a calculator world
a Roman numeral in an Arabic numbers world
an analogue clock in a digital world
calisthenics in a Pilates world
a laugh-track sit-com in a The Office world
a Juno in an Avatar world
America's Favorite Home Videos in a YouTube world
a glacier in a warming world
a fighter pilot in a drone-bombing world
an illegal immigrant in a Joe Arpaio world
school cafeteria chicken nuggets in a health-conscious world
cheap gas in an oil commodity trader's world
moderate health care costs in a test-happy medical world
free bathroom access in a debt-ridden airlines world.
Post superannuation, of course, comes death. But not only do we not speak ill of the dead--we often don't even call them dead. We don't euthanize, but we certainly euphemize. We say "passed away," "went to be with the Lord," "gave up the ghost," "is at peace." We might also say, depending upon the deceased's personal history,
took a called third strike
rolled a 7-10 split in the 10th
ran out of bounds
double-faulted at ad-out
fumbled on his own one yardline
found himself with a void in trumps
lost his WiFi connection
no longer maintains his dance frame
ran out of apps
drove out of reach of a cell tower
forwarded his last e-mail
made his last download
unfriended all his FB contacts
cupped his last blend of beans
deleted his Favorite Places
cut up his credit card
was foreclosed on
holstered his weapon
turned on the automatic pilot
sliced into the rough
ran a post route
saw his application for bailout rejected
was denied access
putted out
is now keeping it on the really down-low.
|
|
|