College Athletics
Athletics and Academics: Time for a Divorce
College athletics, football and men's basketball in particular, is rife with moral problems.  Some athletic departments pay recruiting services to deliver players to their schools.  Some boosters pay players and/or their families to enroll in their schools.  Some players are lured to schools by recruiting visits during which they are offered sex, alcohol, and drugs.  Some players cheat on qualifying exams.  Some grade transcripts get doctored.  Some players leave early for the pro game; others stay four or five years but fail to graduate.  Some players get arrested for theft, illegal drug use, or various kinds of assaults.  Some players sell tickets and clothing that the athletic department has given them.  Some donors are motivated to give money to a school if it has a good athletic reputation.  Some students, although not athletes themselves, choose a school based on its athletic reputation.  (The day after Morehead State upset Louisville in the second round of the NCAA basketball tournament, 3,000 prospective students applied for admission to the school for next year; prior to that, a total of only 200 had.  Evidently cost, location, curriculum, and faculty are less important that a winning basketball team in selecting a college.)

Such corruption at many colleges and universities has been apparent to me since I began following the University of Washington Huskies back in the late 40s.  It was widely known that the great running back Hugh McElhenny followed a trail of dollar bills (the dollar bought more in those days--for a buck "Hurryin'" Hugh could purchase a quart of milk, a loaf of bread, and a pack of cigarettes) from LA's Compton Junior College to the UW.  And in the mid-50s an infamous "slush fund" (money paid regularly to players by boosters, sometimes covered up by fake-work jobs for the players) resulted in NCAA probation for the UW.

Now, more than 60 years after I began witnessing such corruption, I think it's finally time to divorce higher education from interscholastic sports.  Colleges and universities should return to their fundamental purpose: to provide opportunities for liberal education, vocational preparation, and personal fulfillment.  As far as sports go, the institutions should provide only an intramural program, which should be funded by the participants themselves through user fees.  The program would fit in under the rubric of "personal fulfillment" and would provide students a chance to exercise, enjoy some competition, and let off a little steam.  For example, the college might offer flag football, basketball, volleyball, and soccer for the men; softball, basketball, volleyball, and soccer for the women.  Minor sports--swimming, wrestling, golf, track and field--would be relegated to private clubs or community recreational programs.  The huge football arenas and basketball palaces found at most Division I schools would be sold off to the community or to private enterprise.

And make no mistake--the community or private enterprise surely would step into the breach created by the education/athletics divorce.  Not only metropolitan areas but even small towns like Pullman and Corvallis would fill the gap with local teams (comprised of paid talent drawn from all around the world and obtained through the draft or free agent signings), most of which would probably be franchises of top level professional leagues like the NFL, NBA, WNBA, and MLB.  As it is today, colleges develop players for the pros at no charge.  It's time for football, basketball, soccer, and other sports to follow the model of baseball and provide developmental leagues at the AAA, AA, and A levels.  In Western Washington, for example, there exist the major league Seattle Mariners, class AAA Tacoma Rainiers, and class A Everett Aqua Sox.  Throughout the country, other sports should organize themselves in a similar manner.  Towns too small to support an A level franchise could develop their own amateur or semi-pro teams; Ellensburg could play Prosser, for example, with the teams made up of mostly unpaid locals.

With this system, talent would continue to be developed for the top levels, and fans would continue to have opportunities to vicariously enjoy their favorite sports.  Many football-loving Seattleites follow both the Seahawks and the Huskies.  They could continue to do so, only the Huskies would become a AAA team put together and paid for by the Seahawks and totally unconnected to the University of Washington.  Longtime fan loyalties would suffer briefly in the transition, but most of us would soon get over it and transfer our allegiances to the the community/pro teams.  I'm a UW alum, an avid Husky fan, and probably as big a college football and basketball junkie as you'll find among those who are over the age of 30 and not named Dick Vitale, but I'm sure that I would soon get into following newly created minor league teams comprised of players interning for the big time.

I am aware, of course, that my proposal has absolutely no chance of ever being accepted by even a handful of fans, let alone any academic institutions.  Institutions want sports so they can attract students and boosters and donors, so they can make more money and expand their programs, so they can attract students and boosters and donors, so they can make more money, ad infinitum.  In fact, the craze to acquire money is so strong that I predict schools will soon be selling the broadcast rights to their basketball games with the insistence that announcers work in a plethora of what we might call "verbal product placement" references while describing the action (with the advertisers paying their money directly to the schools, not to the stations or networks), something like this:

"Uh-oh.  Smith lost control of the dribble again, and if you're having trouble with dribbling, try Depends."

"That's a travel.  For all your travel needs, go to Orbitz.com."

"Smith dunks it.  Remember, you don't need hops to dunk.  You can experience the same thrill when you drop in to Krispy Kreme and get a glazed to go with your cup of coffee."

"Now Smith is posting up.  Remember, it's easy to post when you join Facebook."

"There's a pass inside to Smith, who kicks it outside to Jones for the 3-pointer.  That inside-out play reminds me to suggest that you stop at the In-Out Burger after the game."

'They trap Jones.  He's in a pickle.  When you're in a pickle, contact Goldberg and Osborne, the city's best criminal lawyers."

"Jones makes a crossover move.  If you're thinking about crossing over, get out to the Switchhitter's Bar after the game."

"Smith takes a charge.  Get yourself a Taser and anybody who messes with you will take a charge too."

"Jones gets hacked in the act.  To keep the hackers away from you, avail yourself of McAfee's protective computer software."

"Let that lob by the redheaded Jones inspire you to stop by the Red Lobster whenever you're jonesing for some seafood."

"Smith is blocked.  When you get blocked, turn to Ex-Lax."

"Nice move.  Jones is really breaking ankles tonight.  If you have problems with your ankles, visit Dr. Arthur Scopic, orthopedist."

"Smith's do-or-die jumper at the buzzer wins the game.  Get yourself a plot at the Let's Sleep In Today Cemetery so you'll be ready in case you die instead of do."

*****

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Latest comments

29.03 | 17:31

Hi Bruce,
I smiled a lot as I looked! Sometimes I didn't quite understand, other times I did! Keep doing this! You are a fun thinker!

05.07 | 23:04

hi! your blog is really fantastic! you are really lucky to have it. I have one but i did not have a single like apart from me

11.10 | 23:42

No longer pray for an outcome. Just do the footwork, if I can see any. I just pray for the grace to willing accept what the outcome will be.

30.06 | 02:37

yo that is so cool