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1. Rabid Afghan Hounds Harried Karzai
2. Kurds and Sunnis Charge Shiite Leaders With Sects Discrimination
3. Bank Vaults To Top Of Bailout List While CEO Bails Out In Golden Parachute
4. Hung Jury Left Out On Limb
5. Celebrating Pirates Shake Booty Off Somalia Coast
6. Limbaugh Claims Environmentalists' Eco Lie Making Economy Sick
7. Kim Jong Il Unable To Stomach Diplomatic Talks
8. Long-Running Persian Cats In Ninth Life On Tehran Stage
9. Rapping L.A. Barrio Kids Learning English As Second Slanguage
10. Putin On The Ritz: Russian String-Puller Flaunts Wealth And Power
11. Ornithologist's Query To Habitat Destroyers: What Part Of Ill Eagle Don't You Understand?
12. Creationist Theory Evolves Into Intelligent Design
13. Tribe Has Reservations About Lax Law Enforcement: Natives Arrestless
14. Plate Tectonics At Work In Shift From Styrofoam To China
15. Foodie's Advice: Eat Locally and Lo-Cally
16. Amish Village Works Together Like Fine-Tuned Machine
17. Circumcision Advocates Say It's Only Polite To Doff Cap And Say Howdy
18. Everyone Gets A Haircut During Recession? Slick Deal For Bald Community
19. Snorting U.S. Drug Users Say DEA Blowing Smoke About Crackdown
20. Ahmadenijad Stifles Dissent On Holocaust Denial, Cuts Off Nos To Spite Race
21. Innovative Charter School Operates Without P.A. System, Wins No Bell Peace Prize
22. Argentine Gaucho Marks Silver Anniversary As Rodeo Comic
23. Undocumented Immigrants Call Selves 'Greengos,' Say They Go Paperless For Sake Of Environment
24. Asian Game Store Has Chinese Checkers
25. Anomaly Causes Aphasia: Arizonans At Loss For Words As Legislature Bans All Place Names That Include 'Sun' Or 'Sol,' 'Valley' Or 'Valle,' 'Mountain' Or 'Monte,' 'View' Or 'Vista'
26. ACLU Pokes Holes In Strip Search Argument
27. Text-Messaging Driver's Last Tweet: 'OMG I XD MDIAN SEMI CMING CIAO-OW!'
28. Hi-Cs: Hurricane Flood Waters Threaten Florida Orange Juice Producers
29. YoYo Ma Plays 'Walk The Dog' On Stringed Instrument, Wins Mother's Day Contest
30. Art Critic Calls Lucien Freud Fraud, David Hockney Hackneyed
31. Police Search For Missing Homeless Intense
32. The Bottom Line: Aerobics Classes Help Ladies Shape Up
33. Raffish X-Gamers Now Waterboarding As Well As Snowboarding
34. Local Governments To Get Shipments Of Viagra As Part Of Stimulus Package
35. Keglers In Smoke-Free Bowling Alleys Say They Should Be Spared The Right To Chews
36. Ethics Board Finds Rachel Slurr Guilty Of Hate Speech
37. Palestinians Fire Rockets: Angry Israelies Say 'No Mas' To Hamas
38. TV Ratings Down: Teens Switching From Boob Tube To YouTube
39. Pedicure Afishionadoes Say 'Bite Me' To Cosmetology Board's Ban
40. EPA: KO PCPs, CFCs ASAP
41. 7.5 Temblor Makes Tumblers Tremblers At Gymnastics Meet
42. Caucasian Firemen Charge Department With Reverse Discrimination, Say Two Wongs Don't Make A White
43. Money Earmarked For Cochlear Implants As Result Of State Hearing
44. Protectionist Labor Leaders Decry Free-Trade Pacts, Say There's Got To Be Some Mourning NAFTA
45. Bank Fails Stress Test, Will Get Bailout Fund By-Pass
46. Arizona Immigration Foes Say 'No Pablo's Espanol' On Voting Ballots
47. Anorexic On Hunger Strike Reduced To Dry Heaves
48. Solar Power Is Light Motif In All New Energy Source Proposals
49. Octo-Mom Says She'll Be 'Internally Grateful' For Fertility Drugs, Denies She Committed Eight Crime
50. Jilted Lover Fears Swain Flew
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