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For decades, paint makers like Dutch Boy and Sherwin Williams have offered descriptions of their various colors, like "sea foam" green and "eggshell" white. Shouldn't they be bringing in new terms for new tones in new times? I suggest these:
recycling green
tsunami seaweed green
envy green
terrorist alert orange
nuclear fallout gray
senior citizen gray
Confederate gray
Ku Klux Klan white
Betty White
tusk ivory
Bronx cheer raspberry
used car lemon
Meadowlark Lemon
socialist pink
Khmer Rouge
fool's gold
Hi-ho Silver
Long John Silver
Provencal lavender
hash brown
hot chocolate
Navajo turquoise
Song Sung Blue
Am I blue
Union blue
Cote d'azur
key lime
skinned leg strawberry
sunburn scarlet
Vivien Leigh Scarlett
Stanford cardinal
dead red
Gypsy Rose
king salmon
wide receiver black
affirmative action black
film noir
pinot noir
natural tooth yellow
copy machine goldenrod
eye pink
overwritten prose purple
*****
What's in a Name?
"A rose by any other name would smell as sweet," Juliet claimed, and I won't argue with that. But when Elizabeth/Liz Taylor died, it did strike me that her name perfectly suited her regal status among Hollywood actresses and beauty queens. "Betty" and "Betsy" are far too girl-next-door for the actress who played Cleopatra, Maggie, and many other sirens. Similarly, being called "Sally" Palin would deplete whatever gravitas Sarah possesses; "Willie" Clinton would make of Bill too much of a bumfuzzled good old boy; "Gwyn" Paltrow would loseth the class that Gwyneth bestoweth upon her; and "Homes" Simpson would be too wised-up for homely neighbor Homer. On the other hand, "Charles" Sheen would be too formal for goodtime Charlie; "Eldrick" Woods too bland for Tiger; "Christina Fey" too sober for impish Tina; "Bobby" Lee too enlisted-man for General Robert E.; and "Woody" Wilson too palsy-walsy for League of Nations promoter President Woodrow. I'd also like to thank Leonard Slye for changing his name to "Roy Rogers" (he couldn't have been the "king of the cowboys" without that royal Roy); Virginia McMath for dropping that spinster schoolteacher name in favor of the spice of "Ginger Rogers"; and Archie Leach for abandoning his parasitic name and replacing it with the dashing "Cary Grant." One also wonders if, in these touchy terrorist times, President Obama could have been elected if his name happened to have been "Hussein Barack" instead of Barack Hussein. Finally, as I clean out my notebook of material dealing with names, let me add four inventive ones that I ran across recently: Jetsy Extrano, a baseball player, and female basketball players Quierra Farr, Brooklin Hinkins, and Jasmine Lemon (also a good name for an herbal tea).
*****
Something Fishy
There's something fishy about the following puzzle. Answers are found at the end.
1. complain
2. watch out for these when playing cards or seeking a loan
3. once, a source of oil
4. go nowhere
5. get off scot-free
6. comparable to an alpha dog (2 words)
7. sharp-toothed flesh stripper
8. a very small person
9. a doctor, if you subtract the letter "t"
10. a stick-like weapon
11. unattractive facial condition
12. sit up high
13. marine feline pet?
14. marine canine pet?
15. Cockney term for the back part of the foot?
16. doesn't need a helmet?
17. stubborn one
18. one's immortal spirit?
19. Bess's beau
20. refine iron ore
21. outdated hairstyle
22. one who dies
23. red ones mislead you
24. these are packed tightly
25. source of light?
26. these can be holy, Sapphire
27. one of these is born every minute, said P.T. Barnum
28. this can eat no fat?
29. perhaps this one bugs you?
30. how the maker of this puzzle plays golf?
Answers: 1. carp 2. sharks 3. whale 4. flounder 5. skate 6. big tuna 7. piranha 8. shrimp 9. sturgeon 10. pike 11. walleye 12. perch 13. catfish 14. dogfish 15. eel 16. steelhead 17. bullhead 18. sole 19. porgy 20. smelt 21. mullet 22. croaker 23. herring 24. sardines 25. sunfish 26. mackerels 27. sucker 28. sprat 29. midge 30. crappie
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