I'm A Big Fan

As a dweller in Arizona's Sonora desert, I am of course a big fan of big fans.  But I'm also a big fan of these contemporary people and things (with justifying phrase, laudatory adjective, or positive appositive in parenthesis):

Patricia Heaton (can play smart, can play dumb and make either one likeable)

Michael Kitchen (understated, slightly dyspeptic)

Julia Louis-Dreyfus (clever)

Sarah Chalke (woman of a thousand faces)

Patrick Warburton ( makes self-absorption forgivable)

Jason Alexander (multi-talented)

Larry David (irascible and irreverent bull in the china shop of social conventions)

John Cleese (skewers phoniness and smugness)

Merrit Wever (cheeky aplomb)

Bobby Cannavalle (soulful)

Julie Bowen (versatile)

Taylor Schilling (a ripening orange)

Woody Allen (keeps on going)

Elizabeth Moss (perceptive)

Mandy Patinkin (sagacious)

Jim Parsons (focused)

Claire Danes (fearless)

Kaitlyn Olson (edgy)

Foyle's War (subtle)

Dancing With The Stars (glitzy)

Homeland (compelling)

Veep (cynical)

The Big Bang Theory (literate)

Mad Men (atmospheric)

Car Talk (no problem is insoluble)

Bizarro World (an escape into paradoxes and puns)

Eleanor Clift (informed, sensible)

Stanley Fish (wide-ranging)

David Brooks (fair-minded)

Camille Paglia (unique)

John MCPhee (encyclopedic)

Roger Angell (polished)

Seymour Hersch (bold)

Kathleen Sebelius (steadfast)

Adam Gopnik (original)

Philip Roth (stimulating)

Frank Deford (droll)

Colin Cowherd (incisive)

Kevin Durant (makes it look so easy)

Paul Goldschmidt (steady)

Dirk Nowitski (concentration)

Kevin Love (relentless)

Tom Thibodeau (analytic)

Frank Vogel (tactical)

Rick Carlisle (demanding)

Brian Agner (precise)

Elena Della Donne (looks stiff and brittle, plays loosely and fluidly)

Tamika Catchings (big mama)

Candace Parker (all heart)

Sue Bird (crafty)

Penny Taylor (self-sacrificing)

Miguel Cabrera (calm)

Vin Scully (mellifluous)

Peyton Manning (cerebral)

Larry Fitzgerald (tries hard on a trying team)

Tiger Woods (smoldering)

Marian Rivera (modest)

The Washington Huskies (my homies since 1946)

Starbucks Veranda coffee beans (sweet, unvarnished flavor)

Starbucks spinach-feta-egg wrap (fat-carb-protein ratio in harmony; pleasantly sour taste--a feta accompli)

Fish tacos (juicy, many textured)

Shrimp burritos (juicy, crunchy)

Kellogg's Frosted Mini-Wheats (bottom half soggy, top half crisp)

Greek yogurt (high protein, low cal--virtue in a 6 ounce cup)

Fresh figs (like crunchy honey)

Food Should Taste Good Cheddar Chips (crunchy bites of salted cheese)

Beef stew (richness accompanied by the sharpness of turnips)

Chicken stew (the scent of taragon and the sweetness of parsnips)

Costco's lamb shanks (tender, tangy)

Clam linguini (saffron, garlic, al dente pasta, al dente clams in their non-dente shells)

Green olive spaghetti (with olive oil and fresh parmesan--briny, oily, nutty)

Ghirardelli candy squares (dark chocolate oozing raspberry or mint filling)

Golden Spoon frozen yogurt (orange-peanut butter cup or mango-red velvet combos please the palate and the conscience)

Jamba Juice's Orange Dream Machine smoothies (a creamsicle in a cup)

Triple-cream cheeses (now and then such soft, rich, pungent, reeking fat is welcome)

The New York Times Friday and Saturday crossword puzzles (lunchtime fun twice a week)

Jeans (tough, form-fitting, all purpose, with a hint of bad-ass--especially when viewed from behind with me wearing them)

Dr. Scholls Gel insoles (leg savers)

*****

And here are more headlines from stories we're following today on NPR, National Punning Radio:

Growling number of Americans complaining about Obamacare

Steven Jobs acolytes say evaluating new tablet products like comparing apples and lemons

Seafood-loving skindiver says the oyster is his world

Successful female talent agent become empressario

"We are exercising our right to freedom from speech" says high school editorial staff on policy of refusing to print the word "Redskins"

Police say results from polygraph machines are valid the lying's share of the time

Once they have the lead in the second half, many coaches go to any lengths to shorten the game

Religious linebacker says he plays dirty in a good way

Running back says hamstring injury is behind him

Quarterback's happy feet make coach unhappy

Team trainers find oblique injuries hard to diagnose

"We made them speed up" says basketball coach when asked how his team's defense was able to slow down the opponent's offense

Serena Williams heavy favorite in tennis match

Local luncheonette keeps the home fries burning

Locals offended when meterologists downgrade hurricane to tropical storm

Politician says he'll do anything to prove he's not an extremist

La viand rose: sommelier recommends the perfect wine to go with dinner

Shakespeare professor on affirmative action: "Sweet are the uses of diversity"

Prolix professor goes at lectures full bore

Bitcoin inventor calls rival creator of virtual currency a "change-gamer"

Counterfeiter forges ahead

New ad for erectile dysfunction addresses needs of some-sex couples

Activists accuse grocers of preying on hungry customers with appetizing displays

Misbehaving teenager now well-grounded

Iraqi officials fear more assassinations are in the offing

Parse (ly) this: creditor garnishes debtor's wages

Nobel Peace Prize committee under fire for its choice of winner

Judge tells convicted orthodontist to brace himself for sentencing

State says that authorities need to do a better job of vetting animal doctors

Whistleblower on why he blabbed state secrets: "To air is human"

Tea Party angry at the feral government

Snake hunters go back for second herping

Nowadays, even desert areas can enjoy a Cloud cover

Many Obama supporters now saying "You are my north by northwest"

Linebacker Sonny Garcon warns opponents: "Don't call me 'boy'!"

Code of silence to receive a hearing

Fraternity experiences a mushrooming of fun guys

Peckinpah film enters Cannes festival trailing clouds of gory

Network censors discuss the ineffable

Cellmates grow so close they finish each other's sentences

Fraternity brothers greet each other with a big beer hug

Obama says no boots on ground in Syria (but okays a few sneakers)

Chess fans wondering if Bobby Fischer had a checkered past

Looking for support, Obama finds Labor's love lost

TV viewer stumbles across porn channel, finds nothing on

Democrats say failure of Obamacare website a tough fact to follow

When it comes to X-rays, a negative is usually a positive

Large animal veterinarian finds his size an advantage when dealing with livestock

Modern politician finds doing favors for friends is anacronyistic

Relief pitcher regrets trying to get by with his bread-and-margarine pitch

Cafeteria food fighters employ weapons of mess destruction

Asked by offspring whom he is rooting for in the tennis match, father replies, "Monfils, my son"

Shy pickpocket acts deft and dumb

Slumping major league outfielder denigrated for assignment

Valordictorian award goes to second- bravest recruit in basic training

Veteran Mariner players no longer worried about how to handle failure

Barbecue expert advises cooks who have the chops to grid their loins

E-smokers giving authorities the vapors

Economists, arguing that Americans need to spend more, cite Shakespeare: "Tis a consumerization devoutly to be wished"

Experts predict that childhood obesity rates will level off when they reach 100%

Sometimes an evaluator of pitching talent has to think outside the balks

Zany rural Alabama couple a pair to drawl to

Talented 5'7" basketball player on recruiter's short list

English teacher: "What's past tense?"  Student: "Totally uptight?"

Oprah says "How have I struggled with my eating disorder?  Let me count the weighs"

Getting British to change their word for mobile phone would be a tough sell

Valentine diners take their sweet time over dessert

Carpenter promises client he'll do his level best

Dieter says he'll stop putting cream in his coffee: "I've killed the fatted decaf"

Lineman loses weight so he can play larger role in defense

Being consistently kind to people is no mean feat

*****

Ecurb's Playlist (cont)

"Sweet Georgia Brown," Gerry Mulligan with the Teddy Wilson trio--Rollicking version of the old Harlem Globetrotter theme song.  Mulligan's baritone sax leaps out of the starting gate and barrels hard, neck and neck with Wilson's piano, all the way to the finish line.

"Cock and Bull," Don Ellis--Warm yet edgy at the same time.  Ellis' clear, ringing tones carry us into an eerie tomorrow.  Recorded in 1961, the piece still sounds futuristic, cutting-edge, not atonal exactly, but definitely differently toned.

"In the Mood," the Glenn Miller orchestra--A quick wakeup call ushers in a strong, jitterbugging, toe-tapping beat, with the reed section playing the melody and the brass section providing punctuation.  A sax solo and then a trumpet solo ensue, followed by a return to the joyous "in the mood" refrain revisited four times, each softer than the previous one, until the last, a blast, moors the mood in the mind.

"Blueberry Hill," Fats Domino--A trilling piano over a driving bass and drum beat gets this blues rocking and rolling, then Fats' inimitable phrasing grabs the attention: "Ah foun' mah three-o," "hee-o," "untee-o," "stee-o," "apoort"--the whole Domino effect causing you to pronounce your words creatively for hours afterward.

"Get Me to the Church on Time," the Oscar Peterson trio--Ray Brown's strong bass asserts the melody first, then Oscar jumps in uptempo producing a dazzling array of light single notes over his left hand's heavier chords, a cartoon road runner skirting and scampering, tripping the light fantastic in a race to the church--giddyup!--until, church at last in sight, slowing, catching the breath, and offering a final walk-through of the main refrain, both hands producing a triumphant tremolo.  Made it!

 

 

 

 

 

Latest comments

29.03 | 17:31

Hi Bruce,
I smiled a lot as I looked! Sometimes I didn't quite understand, other times I did! Keep doing this! You are a fun thinker!

05.07 | 23:04

hi! your blog is really fantastic! you are really lucky to have it. I have one but i did not have a single like apart from me

11.10 | 23:42

No longer pray for an outcome. Just do the footwork, if I can see any. I just pray for the grace to willing accept what the outcome will be.

30.06 | 02:37

yo that is so cool