A word given currency by TV's Bart and Lisa Simpson, "meh" is a verbal shrug of the shoulders indicating indifference or general
lack of interest (but not antipathy). While Ecurb Snave has many likes and dislikes, these are not among them:
Pulled pork with barbeque sauce
Sweet potato French fries
Salad bars
Sugar cookies
Bagels and cream cheese
Chicken tenders
Slow food
Oatmeal
Starbucks' Pike Place blend drip coffee
Scientology
The Harlem Shake
The Electric Slide
Gangnum style
The faux hawk
5-day
USPS mail delivery
Flea markets
Christmas decorations
Vanity license plates
The Grammy awards show
The interpretation
of dreams
YouTube videos
State of the Union speeches
Taxes on soda pop
Allowing LGBT and disabled persons to choose their preferred restroom
Vice (the multi-media company "entertainment-izing" the news)
The privacy of medical records
The domestic use of drones
Gun buy-back programs
The under-representation of blacks in
pro baseball
Facebook Newsfeed changes
The movie version of "Les Miz"
Adele
Taylor Swift
Chris Mathews, Stephen Colbert, John
McLaughlin, Jon Stewart
Jay Leno, Jimmy Kimmel, Jimmy Fallon, David Letterman, Conan O'Brien
Stories
about criminals, rebels, troublemakers, ne'er-do-wells, idlers, or underachievers who suddenly "saw the light" and changed their way of life
Stories about people who go on hunger
strikes
Stories about endangered species, gun control, parental childbirth leave, and climate change
Stories about the Manti Te'o hoax
Stories about good or bad chemistry on sports teams
Stories
about how NFL prospects performed at the Combine
The Sports Illustrated swim suit edition
Testing
athletes for PEDs
Soccer
The World Baseball Classic
Spring training baseball games
All non-playoff MLB games not involving the Seattle Mariners or Arizona Diamondbacks
All NBA games involving Utah, Portland, Charlotte, Orlando, New Orleans, Cleveland, Washington, Toronto, Sacramento, or Minnesota
All-Star
games in any sport
All non-major PGA tournaments
All non-major WTA tournaments
The PGA controversy over the use of belly putters
Michael Jordan turning 50
NCAA basketball tournament "Bracketology"
Gold home uniforms for basketball teams
Cross-Fit training competition
World's Strongest Man competition
Any
card game that isn't poker or bridge
In regard to all of the items above, Ecurb's default response is: "What-ev-uh."
*****
"Trust thyself: every heart vibrates to that iron string," said Ralph Waldo Emerson in his famous 19th century essay
"Self-Reliance." Now, in the 21st, Arizona's Goldwater Institute--concerned that today's Americans are too soft, too dependent, and have too much sense of entitlement--have sought to transcend the great Transcendentalist by commissioning Ecurb Snave
to fashion these bumper stickers, available to the general public at just $25 each:
I'm sui generis
Don't give me a break
No help wanted
Bullets bitten here
My upper lip couldn't be stiffer
You didn't hear about my pain from me
Don't be lending me a hand
Don't hold my hand either
What, me worry?
No problem
I made my bed; I'll lie in it
I never cry over spilled milk--I just clean it up
My sprained ankle is fine--I taped an aspirin to it
I pull my own oar--in a single scull
I fly solo
I always walk single-file
I sing a cappella only
I'll suffer in silence
I belong to a community of one
One's company, two's a crowd
There's no team
in "I"; it's just a coincidence that there's a "me" in "team"
My posse consists of me, myself, and I
Don't build any tandem bikes for me
It takes just one to tango
To my own self I'm true
This wolf is a lone one
Like Sinatra, I did it my way
I only drink at singles' bars
Just call me "Ace"
Play man-to-man,
not zone
I'm a party of one
No foolish consistency for me
I never imitate
DIY
"Self-help" is my favorite section
of a bookstore