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Monday
Stare at mirror, practice looking forceful
Call Bill Clinton, ask for pep talk
Stare at mirror, practice looking compassionate
Tell Kyl imperative to restart START talks
Lay in supply of Nicoret
Tuesday
Promise Kyl to not push Dream Act
Tell Netanyahu to freeze settlement-building
Help Michelle weed White House vegetable garden
Empty Oval Office ashtrays in White House compost pile
Order House salad for dinner
Wednesday
Apologize to American Israeli Lobby for remarks about settlements
Tell Ahmadinejad, Jong-il nukes in Iran, N. Korea absolutely unacceptable
Tell Boehner tax cuts for wealthy must end
Ask Assange for dirt on Netanyahu, Boehner, Kyl, Ahmadinejad, Jong-il
Order burgers and fries for dinner
Thursday
Apologize to China for threatening Iran, N. Korea
Tell Boehner tax cuts for wealthy absolutely must end someday
Send Assange bail money
Play basketball with buds
Order more Nicoret
Friday
Counsel Sasha and Malia never to smoke or take up politics
Play golf with Boehner
Bum cig from Boehner
Hit tanning parlor with Boehner
Weep with Boehner
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