Take My Word For It

The lexicons of living languages grow in response to new concepts, new discoveries, and new inventions.  I herewith "annonce" some nonce words I recently created to fill needs that until just now speakers of English did not realize they had.

karma suitor--a serious boyfriend versed in the art of love and so compatible with his intended that he seems to have been sent by fate

kismetic--a means of covering up one's own mistakes by attributing them to fate

cobeducation--a laboratory study of sexual matters involving human participants, and even the researchers themselves, such as that undertaken by Masters and Johnson

ahabbing--getting over an injury by seeking revenge upon the one who caused it

acridnym--a word with negative connotations formed from the initial letters in a phrase or set of words, such as "Wasp" or "Dink"

savant garde--that class of brilliant thinkers who lead the way in the development of scientific knowledge

snubstitution--the replacement of a star player in the starting lineup with a less competent one in order to teach the star a lesson

sinopsis--a concise review of one's moral lapses

catheteria--storage compartment in a urologist's office containing a variety of catheters from which the urologically-challenged can choose

idiosocratic--characterized by the tendency to use the dialogue form as a means of persuasion (see, for example, the postings of Ecurb Snave

orthorexia--the compulsive need to exhibit proper behavior or to be right about something

generation text--those aged 4 to 18  who have who have never known a world free of text messages

epimemiology--study of the way memes can spread virally

adolesense--short-sighted thinking that fails to take into account all possibilities, as is characteristic of the not yet fully-developed teenage brain

valordictory--courageous last words, such as those offered by Sydney Carton ("It is a far, far better thing that I do....") in A Tale of Two Cities

anacronyism--outdated practice of awarding privileges and benefits to friends and relatives

abracadavre--resurrection of the body through the magic of faith

 dour de force--brilliant but severe/stern work of art, such as the writings of Samuel Beckett or the music of John Cage

faux pas--men who father children but abandon them and their mothers without providing material support for them

eveolution--the gradual improvement of status for women in Western societies

assemulation--the undergoing by women of surgical enlargement of the posterior to achieve the look of celebs like Jennifer Lopez and Kim Kardashian

plastisphere--that part of the cybersphere in which credit and debit card transactions take place

martyrmony--having such a strong "marriage" to one's religion that one is willing, like a suicide bomber, to sacrifice one's life for it

vineregret--panicked feeling during seemingly interminable coughing spasms produced by vinegar-oil salad dressing trickling down the wrong pipe; commonly experienced by senior citizens suffering from dysphagia

Macbreath--greasy, meaty exhalations following the consumption of quarter-pounders

mens sauna in corpore sano--health benefits, both mental and physical, achieved by regular visits to a Finnish steam room

affectionado--one with a sensitive appreciation of the nuances of friendship and love

legendairy--an acclaimed producer of dairy products, such as Oregon's Tillamook company

arthroskypic surgery--a subtle, painless cutting off of a video phone conversation that has begun to drag

scatalog--a dictionary of obscenities

pyrerite-unifying action of sharing a campfire

apptions--variety of choices among computer applications

raprehensable--judgment often made about the violent, misogynistic lyrics in some modern music

raptivation--a fascination with large, prehistoric lizards

reperconcussions--the long-term deleterious effect of blows to the head experienced by many football players

excarnation--belief that after death the soul escapes the body, which disintegrates, never to resume the same carnal form again 

***** 

Ecurb Snave is not autistic but does suffer from an increasingly debilitating inability to refrain from making and--even worse--posting plays on words.  Here are the latest headlines he has submitted to NPR, National Punning Radio.

Scotch Philosopher Advises Taking All Metaphysical Theories With A Gram Of Malt

Orthopedist Endeavors To Answer Stooped Questions

Commercially Unsuccessful Artist Keeps Giving It The Old Collage Try

Patients Love Infectious Disease Doctor's Upbeat Attitude

Grand Canyon University Can Get Out Of Hole By Going Nonprofit

Paul Krugman Believes American Economy Can Be Rescued By The Light Of The Charge Brigade

Class Credits Granted By UNC African-American Studies Department Prove That Something Can Be Made Out Of Nothing

Liberals Call Reading Conservative Online Reportage Drudgery

Many Senior Women Suffer From Crone's Disease

Southerners Returning Home From Northern Colleges Find They Must Go Back To The Drawling Board

Huge Crowd Thongs Bathhouse For Gay Males

Insomniacs Stay Up To Date--And Other Things

Injured Running Back Needs Ankle Surgery, Doctors And Team Officials Decide Jointly

Receiver C.O. Jones Shows His Manhood By Making Touch Catches In Traffic

Coach Of Winning Women's Basketball Team Explains Victorious Secrets

Nudist Colony Reader Board Welcomes Visitors To Shankrila

With No Further Adieu, Retiring Professor Simply Says Goodbye

NCAA Disappointed That SEC Football Remains A Parity Pooper

Attempt By City Of Phoenix To Push Back Retirement Age Goes Against The Grayin'

Foote To Handle Kicking Duties For Cardinals

Council On Aging Seeks Younger Members

"Nice Guy" Found To Have Congenial Heart Defect

 Disappointed Oenologist Says Recent Vintages Nothing To Sniff At

Board President Refuses To Listen To People Who Accuse Him Of Being Close-Minded

Cotswold Village Invests In Hedge Fund

 Young Archaeologist Dates A Fossil

PETA Says World Needs An Anti-Defaunation League

A Job On The French Riviera: Nice Work If You Can Get It

Getting Jobs For People Of Color In Silicon Valley Not A Dun Deal

Biden's Wife Writes Ode To Joey

Research Reveals The Neanderthals Weren't, Really

Guy 'n A College Just Wants To Be A Women's Doctor

The Pleasure Of Window Shopping: Priceless

Marathoner Wearing  Flip-Flops Runs Roughshod Over Competition

Marketers of Young Steers Go By The Rule Of Calveat Emptor

Optometrists Can't See Why More People Don't Get An Annual Eye Exam

Don Quixote Believed In  Planned Erranthood

Boaters Find There's No Such Thing As A Free Launch

TV Football Analysts Yak About YACs

Adamant Believers Say They Will Accept Genesis As Literal Truth "As Long As We Cain, As Long As We're Able"

Social Psychologist Says He Didn't Get The Memeo

Advocates For Forest Preservation Pine And Beech Fir Alder Growths

Obama Says Granting Rights To Immigrants Without House Approval A No-Boehner

Tourists Find Trip To Hawaii Beguiling

French Suicide Bomber Motivated By L'Amour De Le Mort

Protest Marches: Police Struggle To Deal With Messy Antics Of Messianics

Nepotism Motivated By Ties That Blind

Writing Teacher Advises Students To Avoid Cliches Like The Plague

Many Homeless Advocate Bourbon Renewal

Self-Effacing Patient Needs Plastic Surgery

Sewage Department Makes New Treatment Plant Fecal Point Of Rate Increase

New Show About Same-Sex Doctors To Be Titled Gays' Anatomy

Curriculum Specialist Asks "What's Relevance Got To Do With Anything?"

Unbeaten Team Focuses On Staying Focused

Diplomat Develops Catarrh In Qatar

Steven Jobs' Biographer Reveals Deep, Dork Secrets

Earthquake shakes Djibouti

Long John Silver's Codifies Fish And Chip Preparation

Internet Addict Says Being Away From Computer For More Than An Hour Makes Him URL

Magician Tells Audience He Has Nothing Up His Sleeves Except His Expectorants During Flu Season

Denver Philosopher Founds Colorado School Of Minds

Ted Cruz Is Contentious, Democrats Contend

Health Experts Say Africans Suspected Of Carrying Ebola Virus Should Not Be Mali-Coddled

Environmentalists Insist On Talking Trash

Perfectionist Italian Chef Now Working On Cacciatore 22

Fired For Lying Down On Job, Man Claims Accuser Is Prone To Hyperbole

Bakery Offers Single-Serve Pie 3.14 Inches In Diameter

Favorite In Ugly-Man Contest Sitting Pretty

Department Of Licensing Censors Have A Lot On Their Plate

Atheist Says Requiring School Prayer Would Violate His Lack Of Beliefs

Psychologists Say In Daily Life Role Of Small Talk Is Huge

Casual Museum-Goers Often Find That Art Intimidates Life

Putting The AARP In Arpaio: AZ Seniors Strongly Support Maricopa Sheriff

Payday Loan Store Gives Up Usurious Rate For Lent

Optimistic Phoenicians Have A Saying: When God Closes A Door, He Turns On The AC

Philosopher Says Life Consists Of Killing Time Until It Kills Us

Obama's Reaction To Political Attacks Strikes Some As Calmical

Just Stating: It Takes Time To Give Birth To A New Idea

Eidetical Twins Have Great Memories

Seismologists Awestruck At Vastness Of Universe

This Year, Peyton Manning, Eli Merely Boying, QB Position

Steven Jobs Acolytes Say Evaluating Tablet Products Like Comparing Apples To Lemons

Google Soon To Be Driving Miss Daisy

Phoenix Area Dry For Months Until Soddenly The Rains Come

Teenage Boys Follow Instruction Slowly But Surly

Ebola Patient's Decision To Break Quarantine Ill-Advised

Disgruntled Football Team Awarded Number 2 Rankling

Starbucks Continues To Feature Pike Place As Its House Bland

Strippers Investing In Bare Market

Senior's New Dance Move Is A Twerk In Progress

Vegas Casinos Are Loser-Friendly

Life Of Christmas Party Boogie-Oogies As Co-workers Eggnog Him On

Climate Change Skeptics Find Global Warming A Tough Fact To Follow

Paul Krugman Says American Economy Needs To Reinvent The Weal

"Labor's Love Lost": New American Drama Looks At Dwindling Support For Obama Administration

According To Meteorologists, When Atmospheric Conditions Are Like This, 60 % Of The Time There's A 30 % Chance Of Rain

New Grooming Treatment At Salon Raises Eyebrows

Man With Logorhea Losing Control Of His Vowels

Ethicists Say To Continually Show Kindness To Others Is No Mean Feat

"It Was The Best Of Crimes, It Was The Worst Of Crimes": Pundit's Take On Snowden Confused Like The Dickens

A Medaphor For Medicare: Kick The Can Down The Road

Hairdresser Recommends Client Take A Tress Test

Emma Grey Becomes U.S. Citizen

Government Watchdogs Say All Cover-ups Should Be Transparent

Cowboy Wins Poetry Slam, Is Named Poet Lariat

Successful Dropout's Boast :  "I Enjoyed Little Schooling"

Couple In Marathon Vow To Stay Together "Till Breath Do Us Part"

For Many Shoplifters, Clothing Store Dressing Room Is A Steal Curtain

SPCA Has Great Day, Finds Homes For The Whole Kitten Caboodle

Latest comments

29.03 | 17:31

Hi Bruce,
I smiled a lot as I looked! Sometimes I didn't quite understand, other times I did! Keep doing this! You are a fun thinker!

05.07 | 23:04

hi! your blog is really fantastic! you are really lucky to have it. I have one but i did not have a single like apart from me

11.10 | 23:42

No longer pray for an outcome. Just do the footwork, if I can see any. I just pray for the grace to willing accept what the outcome will be.

30.06 | 02:37

yo that is so cool