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The Washington Post invites its readers to play a number of language games. One of them involves placing a portion of a word in "air quotes" and then redefining it. Examples: "Gall"o--having the nerve to bring cheap wine; "fun"gicide--a killjoy; s"laughter"--stop, you're killing me. Herewith, my new definitions for 50 old words.
1. t"ex"ting--sending a dear John e-mail.
2. pas"sage"--the death of a wise man.
3. knock-k"nee"d--born with a minor leg deformity.
4. de"liver"ing--harvesting an organ and presenting it for a transplant.
5. comman"deer"ing--usurping the directorship of the annual fall hunting expedition undertaken by you and your buddies.
6. "pew"mate--that smelly worshipper next to you in church.
7. p"aint"ings--reproductions of famous works of art.
8. co"vet"ed--much desired after having undergone a double background check.
9. au"thor"ity--godlike giver of orders.
10. t"ouch"ing--painful backslapping and towel-snapping.
11. mis"cell"aneous--composed of a variety of small building blocks
12. b"elle"vue--the sight of an attractive French girl.
13. h"arbor"--tree-lined bay providing safe mooring for boats.
14. news"pap"ers--tabloids.
15. E"ski"mo--native Alaskan schusser.
16. ap"parent"--obviously having paternal or maternal qualities.
17. re"quest"--seeking the holy grail yet again.
18. res"train"ed--held back in school in order to improve one's knowledge of the basics.
19. R"ache"l--one who painfully wept for her children.
20. Western "Wash"ington--rain-soaked part of the Pacific Northwest.
21. w"hole"sale--discount prices on grave sites.
22. Amer"ican"--positive-thinking U.S. citizen.
23. bu"colic"--the upset stomach environmentalists get when they encounter suburban sprawl.
24. Br"ah"ms--a satisfying classical composer.
25. Moz"art"--the skillful counterpoint of Wolfgang Amadeus.
26. t"wit"ter--clever postings on the internet.
27. ove"rap"preciated--excessive adulation given to hip-hoppers.
28. bo"rough"--a tough part of town.
29. gui"dance"--instruction in rhythmic movement for males.
30. d"anger"--ire felt at being placed in a risky situation.
31. de"mean"or--looking or acting threatening.
32. ap"petite"--a desire for a snack.
33. qu"irk"s--the irritating habits of your friends and relatives.
34. des"troy"ing--sacking the home of Priam.
35. l"earn"ing--education that leads to a better paying job.
36. h"aunt"ed--troubled by unpleasant memories of your mother's or father's sister.
37. sur"veil"lance--wearing a facemask while spying.
38. c"limb"ing--moving up branch by branch.
39. cons"piracy"--plotting to loot together.
40. "smug"gler--one who is self-satisfied after bringing drugs across the border.
41. "infant"ryman--third-world child soldier.
42. s"kill"ful--adroitly executing one's craft.
43. "sold"iers--troops convinced that they are doing the right thing.
44. l"awful"--a legal, but immoral, act.
45. y"ours"--community property for married couples.
46. en"erg"y--the force required to get work done.
47. "disco"vering--finding lovers at dance halls in the '70s.
48. law-enfor"cement" officer--a hard-surfaced cop.
49. ope"ration"--elective surgery in Canada.
50. sig"nature"--peculiar to one's own self.
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