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Friends Don't Let Old Friends...
Complain about their age or
Three putt or
Shoot set shots or
Forward mass e-mailings or
Root for John Calipari's teams or
Wear sleeveless tops or
Show their cellulite or
Grow goatees or
Get tattoos or
Add piercings or
Listen to rap music or
Eat refried beans or
Use plastic grocery bags or
Appear in public with hat hair,
Ear hair (men),
Stray chin whiskers (women),
Visible snot or
Crumbs on lips or
Set the AC lower than 80 or
Stay in Super 8 motels or
Look up the answers before finishing the crossword puzzle or
Postpone physical exams,
Colonoscopies,
Blood-screenings,
X-rays,
MRIs or
Mammograms or
Watch reality shows or
Friends.
Morphology
There we were, caught
with our prefixes down.
How did you manage
to maintain your aplomb?
I was, sadly,
chalant and peccable
but you were heveled,
mayed, concerted, gruntled,
plussed, and ruly as ever.
Thinonyms (a duet for Roger and Regina, who can't agree on epithets for Anna Wintour or her models in Vogue)
You say slender and I say scrawny
You say reedy and I say skinny
Wispy! Emaciated! Wraithlike! Anorexic!
Delicate! Gaunt! Thready! Bony!
Oh, you'd better not be calling me a toff
Well, you'd better not be calling me daft.
You say slim and I say flimsy
You say svelte and I say wasted
Spare! Cadaverous! Lanky! Spindleshanked!
Sylphlike! Beanpolish! Leggy! Gangleshanked!
Hey, let's call the whole thing erotic
No, let's call the whole thing neurotic.
You say lean and I say meager
You say fine and I say twiggy
Angelhair pasta-like! Broomsticky!
Slight! Haggard! Light! Lathelegged!
Hey, let's call the whole thing semi-otics
No, let's call the whole thing neurotic.
You say thin and I say scant
You say wiry and I say pinched
Trim! Stringy! Shadowy! Frail!
Lanky! Scraggy! Slim! Rattleboned!
Now we know we won't cede to each other
So we better call the calling-out off
Yes, let's call the calling-out wof.*
*(British slang) balderdash, rot, rubbish
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